Review of We Failed You/Freeverse 524 by Emily Butler

1/27/22

First, read the poem We Failed You/Freeverse 524.

Second, read the review by Emily Butler below.

we failed you fledgling
saw you wobbling in your black-blue coat
gave you water for your pink lips
and placed a strawberry from our garden in the grass nearby 
	[Fantastic specificity of language!]
your mom, presumably, squawking overhead 
	[I'm not sure you need the word "presumably." I can understand that the speaker here would not be 100% sure if it is the mother or not. But I don't think it benefits the poem.]
from the tall oak tree
you finally flew up onto our roof
our new shingles black like the feathers you will grow into 
	[Nice details]
or so we thought
a black storm hit that night
slamming rain and wind 
	[Great adjective choice w/ "black storm" and verb choice with "slamming"]
we checked on you in a moment of calm
you were moving, but your mom was not there
we put a small plastic table over you for shelter 
	[Another great detail]
and we found you there in the morning, not moving 
	[I don't think you need "and." Consider adding a stanza break to emphasize the time that has passed, instead.]
but moving us so
we failed you fledgling 
	[Great final lines! I would cut "so." It feels like it makes the case too strongly. I'm sure I would be moved by this experience. I already believe you without this emphasis.]

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