Review of Special Delivery/Freeverse 357 by Emily Butler

1/27/22

First, read the poem Special Delivery/Freeverse 357.

Second, read the review by Emily Butler below.

let's teach each other accents
we can be noisy too
those half- dead neighbors?
	[Really interesting and original adjective choice]
oh, they're scared of curly hair
	[Consider a comma here? I think this poem is working well without punctuation, but I hear a pause here when I read it. Might be nice to indicate that. Totally optional though. Love the way you've put this.]
and forget the dark different fun places
	[This is the only line of this poem I would turn a critical eye towards in editing. "Dark different fun" - 3 adjectives in a row - might be excessive.]
they will not dare go there
brown as a package
come sit on my stoop
	[Yes! I simply love these final lines. "Brown as a package" is a satisfyingly simple, logical, and at the same time, visual comparison. "Come sit on my stoop" is a great place to land. It feels like an ending which is also a beginning. It echoes the first line.]


Other than two (optional) punctuation suggestions, and some considerations in the fifth line, I think this poem is pitch perfect. 

"Let's teach each other accents" is a lovely first line. It invites the reader in. This poem is really concise. A lot is implied and left off the page, but not in a confusing way at all. I find this poem really accessible and impactful.

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